Why wasn’t I consulted during the marketing process?
I had to have vegetarian fishfingers to eat yesterday. What is that? It’s not even a thing. People only ever have fishfingers when they’re poor. The thing is though these quorn appropriations of what the upper classes think is wrong with the rest of society cost nearly £3. £3!!! And i hate over use of exclamation marks. It’s just lazy. But I wish I’d thought of it during essay writing.
I Don’t write essays any more. I’m too old. I’m not going to let on how old but it’s old enough for my grandfather to have given up on asking me when i’m going to meet a ‘nice lad’ and settle down and distend my nethers to pop out ungrateful short people. And also old enough to get beyond ‘huffity’ when I get id’d for booze. Yeah that’s how it goes. id’d. If I followed proper grammar rules I think we’d end up with IDed which looks like the name of a club in dudley when all the DY1 tags were already taken. I’m a grammar nazi by the way. Nice to meet you. I’ll kick you in the nuts if you mess up the ‘there/their/their’ business but i’ll send you a laminated cerificate afterwards and maybe a drawing of myself on the back of a cereal packet in crayons. (‘Should of/could of/would of is unforgiveable. I kill you now.)
I know I haven’t got over my lack of capitals laziness but this is my little bitof techno-world…leave it out. My little fingers are only little. you many have guessed that from what I call them. Little fingers.
There’s holes in this computer. Bits keep snapping off but I keep bodging them back together with stickers which is a bit like me. I have crappy bones and blood and brain. Pick a body part beginning with b, mine’s shoddy. Bladder? yeah actually. well, i just like going for loads of number ones. Bowel? This brown stuff keeps coming out. I ought to see someone about it. Or write to Take A Break magazine problem page. I’m trying to write a story for the real life pages of Take A Break cause I’d really like a grand. Seriously they give a grand to people who have been stabbed by their spouses. Even more if said spouse was sleeping with the grand-receiver’s moter. If it’s the father than ding-ding-ding jackpot.
So this is my introduction. Those ‘pishfingers’ were disgusting and I’m going to marry a rockstar.
x
Also, great-rack. 